Grant Writing

I have trudged all over the UNM Main campus to ask questions to advisers and other people. In each instance I have been very transparent that I HAVE BREAST CANCER. And that if it is at all possible I still want to graduate in May. No one seems to know how to deal with me and for the most part I have been told to consider taking this semester off. I cannot do that. I can't. If I take a break for any reason, I feel I will never go back. I have worked hard and I am so tired of school and... I am ready to move on.

There seems to be a consensous about a few issues though.

       1) there is no way I can make my final Strat Comm class work as an independent study class.

       2) I should take the semester off

       3) I have been given the business card for Agora twice (this is a suicide/depression hotline.) I have been told to go to the Women's Resource Center. I have been asked if I have been to the Student Health Center because they have counseling there. I am told, "You may want to call them, maybe they can help."  I have cancer. I have a therapist already. I am not going to kill myself. But thank you anyways. It seems that everyone, so far, wants to avoid dealing with me.

I am working on writing a proposal for doing the Strat Comm Campaigns class as an independent study. It will mean putting together a group of people to help me complete each project. My focus will be on the Sisterhood of the Bras.  This team will create branding, logos, and at least two campaigns to promote specific projects--like Jennifer the Traveling Bra. We will create a news letter, business cards, a brochure, perhaps. I will rebuild my websites and blogs. I am hoping the professor will decide to let me give this a try.

We will do a fund raiser to help me out financially during my treatment.Until I have accepted a treatment plan and we have begun the radiation or done the surgery and later started Chemo, I do not know  if I will be able to continue to work at Joy Junction  or if I will need to take time off. I will need a way to pay bills and take care of El Jay. Because my car was totaled, I imagine I will need to buy another car, which will mean a car payment and increased insurance. I figure El Jay and I can live on $2000 a month. I get $650 for child support. I need a way to bring in about $1400 a month even when I cannot work. I need to fill those gaps.

I will even write a grant and ask people and businesses to help support this project. Actually, I created a set of documents that might be asked for when writing a grant during a grant writing class two years ago, I am updating them now and I have one foundation I will send them to. I plan to request funding to help with the initial start up costs, a little overhead, printing, etc... the biggest cost is for money to replace my camera. The project is not possible without  camera.  I want to have this grant submitted by January 15th. As a group we will come up with other grants to apply for. I hope I get it, not just for the money, but because it will look good on future resumes that talk about this project.

Instead of people discouraging me, i need to be surrounded by positivity. I need people to say, "Yes, you can do this and we will help you. We believe in you. We believe in the Sisterhood.  They say healing is easier if you have a good attitude. i believe that, but doubt creeps in. Plus, there have been so many road blocks, so many reasons not to believe in myself and to be discouraged. I want to heal and to do that I need to be surrounded by good things and people who believe in me.

Breast cancer isn't a little thing. It is a huge hurdle to get over. There will be many little things during this ordeal, with a few bigger ones, that I will look back on and smile as I remember how it was those things, and those people, that got me thru this time in my life.

Please, believe in me.