Thoughts From A Non-Traditional Student: What Next?

I want to take pictures. That is all I want to do. That is all I have ever wanted to do. I want to make money taking pictures. I want to be able to support my family by taking pictures. I wish getting there was as easy as writing it down.

It has been exhilarating lately to have people actually calling me up and asking me to shoot them ;-) That despite this lack of personal focus and fog in my brain, I have been able to keep shooting. And not only take pictures, but produce some of my best work. As the calls came in, I doubted I could do it, because of the medication issue.... but I did. And I took great pictures.

Another photographer and I have been discussing our personal desire to "open" a studio. This guy is around 30 and got a doctorate in Poli-Sci in the Spring. He is now teaching at a university.... yet, what he really wants now is to focus on his photography. I can't image working so hard to get a doctorate and then NOT use it.... I also can't image NOT pursuing what you really want to do. I wish I had that type of drive.

There are moments, many of them, when I am so tired of school. After getting a W in my Algebra class--knowing I have to retake it and then take Math 121 and statistics--I have considered just quitting. I can't do it. My mind cannot do it. But I dropped out 29-years ago as a senior and I have worked so hard this time around. I'm going to stick with it. I have to.

Sometimes, it would be nice to feel I wasn't in this alone. That someone supported me in this journey. Believed in me. I get encouragement through my FB friends, which isn't the type of support I wish I had. For example, my dad has never said, "I am proud of you for going back to school." He has made a big deal out of my sister, Robyn, going back to school though. She lasted two semesters before she dropped out. I've stayed in for 9-semesters now. I don't feel any closer to graduating than I did in the Fall of 2007 when I came back to school.

This is my plan. I am going to take pictures. I am going to support my family as a professional photography. I am going to open a studio. Miguel Gandert told me two years to stop making excuses. Either I was, or I wasn't and to believe in ME and my talents and abilities. That if I didn't believe in myself first, no else would.

I am a photographer. That is WHO I am.